The Importance of Sexual Intimacy in Your Baby-Making Success
Let’s be real for a second—when it comes to baby-making, sex is much more than just a means to an end. It’s a primal, juicy act that nourishes your emotional connection, awakens your body’s innate rhythms, and gets you in sync with the primordial forces of creation. Whether you’re trying naturally, going through IUI, or prepping for IVF, the intimacy of sex isn’t just fun; it’s priming your body and soul for fertility success in ways you may not even realize.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and modern fertility science, mindful, sensual intimacy plays a powerful role in balancing your hormones, moving energy, and deepening your connection with your partner. So, what if sex was more than just a task on your fertility checklist? What if it was the secret sauce that could elevate your entire fertility journey?
1. Keeping the Fire Alive (Why Sex is Crucial for Your Fertility)
Baby-making doesn’t have to be clinical. In fact, it’s far more effective when you tap into the primal energy of sexual intimacy that brings life into being. Maintaining a regular, healthy sex life during fertility treatments can help you cultivate the fertile soil of your body, making it ready for conception in ways that go beyond just medical intervention.
○ Physical Connection: Sexual activity primes your body by boosting blood flow to your reproductive organs, making them more responsive and receptive. It’s like stirring the pot, getting things juicy and energized. Even orgasms play a role—they stimulate uterine contractions, subtly guiding sperm towards their target like a primal force pulling life together.
○ Hormonal Benefits: Sex floods your body with dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins—a cocktail of feel-good chemicals that ignite your sense of pleasure and calm your nervous system. This release of hormones creates a fertility-friendly environment, keeping stress hormones like cortisol in check. You’re creating a space where your body feels safe and ready for the magic of conception.
○ TCM Energy Flow: In TCM, sexual intercourse is seen as an exchange of Qi (energy) that gets your blood flowing and your reproductive energy humming. Every touch, every kiss, every embrace is a dance of energy, circulating between you and your partner, nourishing your Jing (Essence), and supporting your journey to conception.
2. How Often is Too Often? (Or Not Enough?)
In both Taoist and TCM principles, balance is everything. You’re not aiming to exhaust your energy (or your partner), but you also don’t want to ignore the vibrant power of regular intimacy. So, let’s break down the ideal frequency of sex based on where you are in your fertility journey:
○ For Those Trying Naturally:
Right after your period, your body is in primordial renewal mode, building up Yin energy—the cool, moist, and nourishing force that prepares your uterus for
life. Engaging in sex every other day after your period helps prime your body by getting blood and Qi flowing to your reproductive organs. As ovulation approaches, you can increase the frequency to once a day or every other day, keeping that energy juicy and active. After ovulation, take it down a notch to every few days to conserve energy while letting the body settle into creation mode.
○ For Those Preparing for IVF (Preconception Phase):
Many spend 2-3 months preparing their body before starting the IVF process. This is the time to prime your body for what’s to come. During this priming phase, sex helps build your reserves of Jing, Blood, and Yin energy to prepare your ovaries for optimal egg quality:
■ Every other day after menstruation keeps your reproductive organs lush and fertile, with blood and energy flowing smoothly.
■ As you near ovulation, increasing the frequency to every day or every other day helps keep the primordial energy rising, building the fertility potential.
■ Think of this phase as sowing the seeds—you’re nurturing the soil, priming the body for when it’s time to start the retrieval process.
○ For Those Between IVF Rounds (Taking a Break):
After a round of IVF, it’s natural to need a break—both physically and emotionally. This is a time to let your body rejuvenate while still keeping the intimate connection alive:
■ Here, sex becomes more about rebuilding Jing and energy, rather than driving toward conception. Intimacy every few days can be a way to keep your energy circulating without taxing your body. It’s about nurturing the connection and awakening your body’s sensual vitality as you recover.
○ For Those Undergoing IUI:
Leading up to your ovulation, the frequency of intercourse can mimic that of natural cycles—every other day after your period, then more frequently (once a day or every other day) as you approach ovulation and your IUI procedure. After IUI, reduce intercourse frequency to once every few days to support implantation and let your body hold onto that primed, fertile energy.
○ For Those Going Through IVF (During Retrieval and Transfer Phases): If you’re stimulating your ovaries with medication, it’s important to adjust your intimacy to avoid complications:
■ During Retrieval Phase: Once your follicles are growing, it’s often best to pause intercourse to prevent ovarian torsion. You’re in a delicate phase of ripening, where your body is carefully preparing to collect its treasures—your eggs.
■ Between Retrieval and Transfer: During this window, light intimacy without intercourse can help keep the emotional connection alive while allowing your body to rest and prepare for implantation. After transfer, it’s best to follow your doctor’s advice, but non-sexual intimacy can still be a powerful way to keep the Qi flowing and your emotional bond strong.
3. Always consult your fertility specialist for specific recommendations during each phase of your IVF cycle, but remember, intimacy—whether sexual or emotional—plays a primordial role in nurturing the fertility potential in both body and spirit.
But here’s the juicy part—you’re not just having sex for fun (though that’s a huge plus), you’re also triggering a cascade of hormonal and energetic shifts that can make all the difference in your fertility journey. In our next post, we’ll dive into the hormonal symphony that happens during your fertility cycle—how estrogen, LH, FSH, progesterone, and even the love hormone oxytocin align perfectly with your body’s Yin and Yang energy in TCM to optimize your fertility. Trust me, this is where things get really fascinating!
